I am pained in my heart and I really need your advice and those of your readers….I need your help. I am a mother of four; three women and a young man. My first daughter is 41, married with two kids. She and my last child; the young man are my source of joy.
My second and third, both women, are a source of concern to me. Although I raised them alone due to their father’s death…. They lacked nothing whilegrowing up. We may not have in abundance, but we lacked nothing, so I really cannot place or lay my hands on why these girls are behaving the way they are now.
My second daughter, at present has three children for three different men. She had her first child when she was in her first year in the university, she took in for a married man she dated then. When she left home for campus, she became a changed girl from the child I raised. Her action almost sent me to an early grave. Her mother- in-law took the child so that she could finish school. Along the line, while still in school, her relationship with the father of her child broke up. I spoke and pleaded with her to move on.
I told her she had no reason to settle for less – a married man – as there are lots of single men out there she could get married to when ready. But alas! My daughter only listened, she did not heed my advice. Because when she went for her youth service, she got pregnant and had another child, again for a married man. This act almost broke the man’s home. Eventually, she couldn’t get married to him. She got a job and started living as a single parent. Three years after, maybe she would have had a chance to settle down and live a good life but her fiance died few weeks to their wedding. I never knew my daughter was carrying his child until she became evidently pregnant.
Now, she has three children and remains a single parent. Her situation gives me sleepless nights. Recently a woman walked into my nursing home to ask me to beg my daughter not to break her home. I was shocked when she told me that my daughter had been dating her husband for over three years. She said she had pleaded with her several times to leave her husband alone. I was shocked at what I heard. As if this was not enough she said that few months ago, September precisely, her husband finally called it quits with my daughter, but my third daughter came to plead with her husband on her sister’s behalf.
I was too shocked for words. I asked this woman to give me time to investigate her allegation. She, however, gave me a parting shot. She asked me to warn my daughter that any attempt by her to have a child for her husband would result in her death. I am old enough not to take any threat with levity, I called my daughter and she confirmed this woman’s words. I then called my daughters to a meeting. My concerned daughter’s answer shocked me, she said she would rather die than leave this man alone.
Please, how do I treat this issue??